


If This Isn't Love (Then I Don't Wanna Know)

by Jaoie



Category: Thai Actor RPF, พฤติการณ์ที่ตาย | Manner of Death (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M, Multi, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-27 01:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaoie/pseuds/Jaoie
Summary: A spin-off from Kind Of...Sometimes...Maybe. What if Max, after realizing his feelings for Tul, confides in Great instead of Maeng?An alternative continuation.
Relationships: Max Nattapol Diloknawarit/Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai, Max/Great, MaxGreat, One-sided (?) MaxTul
Comments: 9
Kudos: 9





	1. I'd Never Ask You ('Cause Deep Down I'm Certain I Know What You'd Say)

**Author's Note:**

> So...this fic's time has come. I've been planning this for a while and I wasn't going to write this yet, but...I was sad and I felt like my angst was powerful enough to kickstart this so, lol.
> 
> NOTES:
> 
> ❗This is essentially an AU of my #MaxTul AU: Kind of...Sometimes...Maybe. Reading that beforehand is important!!! Though I thiiink it's possible to understand this even if u don't lol. (It's here if you haven't read it yet and want to! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29174184/chapters/71625282)  
> ❗Branches off at the part in Chapter 9 wherein Max admits his feelings for Tul to himself while smoking. In the original fic, he messages Maeng about his realization. In this AU, he messages Great instead, and this changes EVERYTHING.  
> ❗Will be written mostly from Great's POV. Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about Great's IRL personality so I took full creative liberty here and built his character from scratch. Apologies in advance if he's not "in character". ☹️  
> ❗AGAIN, THIS IS A MAXGREAT FIC. I'm still unclear on my plans for MaxTul here...I guess we'll see...but I'm setting expectations now. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.  
> ❗In this AU, the prologue of Kind Of... doesn't happen. So no, MaxTul doesn't have sex here. 🤧🤧🤧 (Yet. LOLJK)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max messages Great early in the morning with a "revelation" which, quite frankly, isn't news at all. 
> 
> Great is disappointed, but what's new?

**Tuesday morning**

Great was putting on his watch when his phone vibrates on his bedside table. He frowns and hopes that it's not a call-out text or something from one of his staff. He takes his time fixing his tie and smoothing his hair back before picking it up to check the notification.

His eyebrows rise when he sees who the text was from.

* * *

**Nong Maxi** 😎

Great

Fuck

Don't panic but I'M PANICKING

* * *

_What in the hell is going on?_ He thinks half-worriedly, half-amusedly before typing out a response.

* * *

**Great** 💪

Okay, I'm calm

But I'm worried too ofc. What's going on?

**Nong Maxi** 😎

So remember our conversation yesterday

Yes, I know we talked about a shit ton of stuff but I'm too embarrassed to point out which part exactly 👉👈 ANYWAY

I realized that I might have...answered wrong

Too many realizations these past few days, my head is spinning

Whoops I almost dropped my cigarette, my hands are shaking so hard LOL!!

I'm fucking panicking, Great. I don't know what to do

* * *

_Max messaging me at 7:30 AM? He's awake enough to type right now? He's wound up for sure._

He already has an inkling of what this is all about. But first...

* * *

**Great** 💪

Okay. Before anything else, take deep breaths for me, Maxi.

Inhale slowly for 4 seconds, exhale slowly for another 4

Do that a few times first?

**Nong Maxi** 😎

...thank you Great ☹️

That helped a little

Anyway...I know this is random, but I woke up bothered and right now there's no one else I could confide in

Except u

So here I am

Maybe it's bc u shared something so personal last night. For some reason I feel like we're 50% closer 😗

* * *

Great laughs out loud at that. Well, this should be interesting.

* * *

**Great** 💪

Haha, I'm glad you trust me enough to share this with me.

I'm listening.

**Nong Maxi** 😎

Soooooo remember how y'all were hell-bent on driving me into a gay crisis last night

Well, guess what

I hope y'all are happy now 😔

Great, I'm in love with P'Tul

YES, my dumb ass is just realizing this now

I don't know what to do

Fuck

* * *

Well. Not like that was news. 

His chest constricts all the same.

* * *

**Great** 💪

......Congrats?

I mean...we all knew that already LOL

Loljk. Srs now. So...what can I help you with?

You can vent to your heart's content here if you like. Looks like you need it. I'll be driving to work in a few but I'll reply as soon as I get to my desk.

**Nong Maxi** 😎

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Thank you, Great

U da man.

* * *

Great laughs at himself and the heavy feeling in his heart as he drives to work. His phone vibrates almost non-stop on the passenger's seat - most likely with chat notifications from Max as he vomits his feels out in their Messenger convo - and he lets himself feel dread at reading it. Here in his car, with no eyes on him, he is free to indulge in his disappointment. Here, his feelings are valid.

How long has it been? 4, 5 years now? And that's not even counting what came _before_ that.

It's almost hilarious, actually. He's always known that he's attracted exclusively to men, but he'd never fallen in love in his entire life. At least not until he met a Tul Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai, who entered his life gently and smoothly, but whose effect on him emotionally was akin to a tornado destroying an entire town in its wake.

Just his luck that his first love was a straight man who would never look at him as anything more than a friend. He's proud of himself for managing to keep his emotions under wraps (at least in the presence of the object of said feelings, and their friends), but he thinks he'll forever be scarred by the countless nights of crying himself to sleep that his one-sided love for Tul had caused him. He's never hated himself for being gay, even if he didn't have the courage to come out quite yet, but watching Tul fall in love with and get into relationships with women made him hate his biological sex for the first time in his life.

_What I would give to be a woman so he would look at me that way_ , his wretchedly smitten 19-year-old self had thought countless times like a mantra. That definitely wasn't the best time of his life. He shivers with horror at the mere thought of it.

He's heard somewhere that the best way to move on was to find someone new. He clearly remembers thinking how dumb that was. Suffering through one phase of being smitten with another person was bad enough...why go through it _again_?? He'd much rather just not be in love _at all_ , thank you very much.

Turns out, they were right about how helpful finding a new object of infatuation was for getting his mind off of someone. But that was about it. There was nothing "best" in how it happened to him. It was pretty much an "out of the pan and into the fire" type of situation.

If Tul entered his life gently, like a calm ocean breeze, then Max entered it like a _whirlwind_. A breath of fresh air, sure, but too much air all at once. He'd barely recovered from the emotional damage Tul had (unintentionally) caused yet here he was, resigned and helpless a second time as another force breaks its way in and leaves that hidden room in his heart in tatters, yet again.

Sometimes, when he is alone in his bed at night and when his loneliness becomes too crushing to ignore, he wishes to whichever god might be listening that he hadn't met Max. _And_ Tul, for that matter. Hell, sometimes he holds one-sided negotiations with fate in his head, asking it to allow him to go back in time and avoid joining the frat altogether so he wouldn't have met Tul, that inspiring leader and Phi and brother that was just _impossible_ not to fall in love with and Max, that overenthusiastic Nong who kept hounding him and trying to win his heart (only in a purely platonic way, unfortunately) until he eventually broke Great's walls down in ways that were _absolutely_ unwanted.

Of course, that thought disappears immediately whenever he interacts with both men - they're both too much like rays of sunshine to seriously want to cut off, because who doesn't need the sun? - but in the silence of the night, when he remembers how content he is about pretty much everything in his life except for one thing (his love life, which isn't even a necessity in the first place), he prays for it. Hard.

But of course, none of the gods ever made it happen. He wonders why he even hoped that those gods exist.

Loving Tul was already hard, but loving Max was even more so. Tul had maintained the "proper" brotherly distance that is expected from conventional friendships between men, so it was easier to accept that there would never be anything beyond platonic between them, but Max didn't have that same sense of propriety. Max was affectionate, both physically and verbally, and he never hesitates to express to his friends how much he loves them no matter how "inappropriate" his ways might seem to society. He hugs, kisses on the cheek, holds hands with, and says I love you to both his male and female friends (with their consent, of course), with no regard for how other people see him. He's accused of being gay because he's like that? Watch him give absolutely _zero_ fucks. He is who he is, he gives out freely the love which he doesn't seem to run out of, and he seems so _at peace_ with it that Great sometimes feel green with envy.

If only he could be like that. He's at peace with who he is, sure, but for some reason stepping out of the closet still terrifies him to death. What he would give to have even an ounce of Max's courage.

When Tul graduated, Great didn't know whether to feel relieved or terrified. Relieved because he believed in "out of sight, out of mind"; terrified, because now there was _nothing_ left to stop him from falling, hard and fast, for Max. And plummet into the dark, dark abyss he did. If falling for Tul was as painful as falling from a 40 feet tall cliff into the water with bad diving posture (he knows because this has happened to him before - hitting the water the wrong way from that high felt like dying, and he seriously thought it was his time to go), then falling for Max was like falling into an endless, dark, _narrow_ cliff with sharp edges everywhere, with his body getting all beaten up and slashed and _bleeding_ from hitting said sharp edges over and over as he falls and falls with no end in sight. Morbid, he knows, but he can't think of any other way to describe this...suffering. 

He desperately wishes that Max would stop being so affectionate. What he would give for Max to stop looking at him with puppy eyes full of (platonic) adoration and brotherly love sometimes, even if a self-indulgent part of him loves it, laps it up like a man starved, and treasures it like it were the most valuable gem on earth. At least Tul never actively fanned the flames of his infatuation, and Great had nobody to blame but himself for the gravity of his feelings. But with Max, it was always so tempting to _hope_. Given the way he acts, it was so easy to think... _What if he_ really _wasn't completely straight? What if staying friends with him and taking care of him gives me a chance, no matter how slim, of winning his heart?_

Of course, Max's constant string of hot girlfriends, occasional flings, and his questionable "brotherhood" with P'Tul crushes that hope everytime. _Of course_ Max wouldn't like him because Great _still_ wasn't a woman, and _of course_ the only man who would be capable of catching Max's eye was Tul. Tul was perfection incarnate. Figures he'd be the only one capable of "bending" Max.

Thankfully (for lack of a better term, because he's not sure if this is really something to be thankful for), several years of enduring unrequited love has made him strong and almost completely numb. (Keyword being _almost._ ) He's battle-worn and scarred as all hell (even if no one can see it), sure, but at least the pain is but a dull ache now. It no longer tears him apart and reduces him into a sobbing mess at night. 

Essentially, Great has learned to live with it. Sure - Max's realization of his feelings for Tul might've torn some of the old wounds open a little bit, but he'll live. This can't possibly hurt him any more than it already has all these years.

He finally arrives at the office building. He takes a minute after parking his car to do breathing exercises - _Inhale for four, exhale for four_ \- until he feels grounded again. He's thankful that he was born good at compartmentalizing. At least he is able to feel his pain in its entirety while at the same time able to bundle it up and keep it safely in a steel box, so that it doesn't overflow and ruin other aspects of his life.

After entering the elevator and pressing the button to his office floor, he closes his eyes and thanks the universe for the blessings in his life. He thanks the cosmos for placing him in a career that he loves _and_ thrives at; for the beautiful friendships that he has, both inside and outside of work; for the luxury that he is able to enjoy because of his income; for his good health; and for his security in his sexuality, even if he isn't ready to share it with the world just yet. He hopes he gets there. It's a work in progress.

By the time he reaches his desk, his mind is serene and the pain of his disappointment at losing his chances with Max yet again (if he ever even had _any_ ) has been reduced to a dull throb. Seriously, his life is almost perfect and he's thankful that he has all these other things to be happy about. It's really not so bad.

Still, he prays to the gods of the universe _again_ for relief from this one-sided love. He imagines lighting a match and rekindling the flames of his hope for this freedom again. _We'll get there. Gotta keep the faith._

He arrives at his desk 10 minutes before his work day officially starts. He takes a deep breath and goes into Phi mode. Max needs him right now, so he ignores his usual routine of checking emails early and getting coffee in favor of reading Max's messages so he can reply and offer whatever comfort he could before he's officially on the clock.

Great feels really proud of himself for not feeling devastated as he reads Max's messy retelling of how he came to realize his feelings for Tul. And anyway, what right does he have to complain when he literally _contributed_ to that process? He's quite the martyr, honestly. Who even pushes the man they love towards unearthing their long-buried feelings for another man, whom _he_ also used to love? 

See. Love just isn't good for him. It makes him so _dumb_ when he's normally smart and logical. 

Despite himself, he feels a bit of pity for Max as he reads the younger man's lamentations over his potentially one-sided feelings, and how he would hate to lose one of the best friendships he's ever had over it. _Sounds familiar, huh?_ Great honestly doubts that it's not reciprocated, but in the end no one would know until Max _actually_ confesses to Tul and hears what his reply is. Even Great is morbidly curious at how Tul would react.

He decides to meet Max in person so they can have more quality time to digest together. There's too many feelings to work through and he wants to help Max process as best as he can. _It's Tuesday but Max popping a few cans of beer while venting might help?? I'm sure I can keep him from being too wasted. I'll just give him enough of a buzz to make the emotional outburst a little...ah...easier._

* * *

**Great** 💪

Virtual hugs for you, Maxi ☹️🤗

You know, I think this warrants an emergency night out

Let's hit our usual bar? Beer's on me

I'll control the servings bc I'm paying, of course, so don't even think about getting wasted

Not on my watch

But a few cans might help heal the soul so...🥴😂

**Nong Maxi** 😎

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Hell YEAH

If you're paying that's even better LMAO

And aaaggghhh it's been too long since you and I had one-on-one bro time!!! 

**Great** 💪

Very true LOL. You only ever have time for Tul so 😔

I'm used to it though HAHA no big deal 🤷

**Nong Maxi** 😎

Yo don't sulk, you know I love you too 🥺🥺🥺

Anyway, okay!! It's a date then 💖

Let's just meet up there?

**Great** 💪

Yep, sounds good

Does 7 PM work? Or do you need it to be earlier?

I can do away with OT today if you do, I can make 6:30 happen LOL

**Nong Maxi** 😎

I'M TOUCHED 😭

Yeah let's shoot for 6:30 if we can, actually 

The earlier the better

Oh, and help me think of an excuse that won't make P'Tul suspicious

He's prolly gonna wonder why we're going off on our own LOL

**Great** 💪

What, Great wanting some one-on-one bonding time with one of his favorite bros isn't a good enough reason?

We really need a different reason? ☹️

**Nong Maxi** 😎

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I mean,,,

Well

I guess ur right 

He's not the only one with the right to monopolize me 😤😤😤

He has the audacity to make me fall for him with no intention of catching me, WHO NEEDS HIM??? 🙄😒😤

Loljk I'm just entertaining myself

Ugh u know what, whatever

He can think whatever the fuck he wants

He might not even care

U know him, he might just smile and tell me to have fun when I tell him we're drinking tonight

He doesn't need to know that I'm gonna cry about him to u, EVER

Oh god the thought hurts 🤧

**Great** 💪

There, there 🤗

You're so dramatic tbh. I'm telling you, there's NO way in hell that he doesn't love you back, okay

It's just...impossible

You'll be fine, I swear

**Nong Maxi** 😎

You really don't need to placate me, Great 🤧

But I appreciate that

Ugh gotta work now. Can't wait for later. See u soon!!!

* * *

If nothing else, at least Max doesn't sound sad and emotionally wrecked. Who knows how badly the younger man would've spiraled if Max hadn't reached out to confide in him. Great pats himself on the back for a job well done.

He's looking forward to tonight too. Maybe...if he manages to convince Max to confess to Tul and they _finally_ end up getting together, then that might be the closure that he needs to finally move on. _Let's see if losing my chances with both of the only men I've ever loved is enough to force my heart into_ finally _letting go and falling out of love._

Fat chance, but he's a man with a tendency to cling to hope, for better or for worse. _We'll just see_ , he thinks and casts another prayer to the gods of the universe for freedom from this burden.

_We'll get there, self. Hang tight._


	2. You'd Say I'm Sorry, Believe Me, I Love You (But Not In That Way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not gonna change anything in the long run, anyway. Great figures he might as well.

**Tuesday evening**

Thankfully, Great's work day wasn't too eventful and he was able to clock out at exactly 6PM. On a normal day he would still have been working on small, easy tasks to free himself up for heavier things during the day, but thankfully the small tasks he had left weren't so urgent that they couldn't be saved for tomorrow. He just piles them on his to-do list for the next day.

He promised Maxi his time tonight, and he will deliver for sure.

Max's aura is noticeably subdued when he arrives at the bar. Great waves to catch his attention and pats the stool beside him. Max pulls him into a quick hug before taking his seat.

Great's heart simultaneously sings and aches at the contact. He ignores it and turns to the bartender to place their order. He gets them both a bucket of ice chilled beer and various orders of finger food to go with it - he expects them to be here a while.

"So, Maxi," Great begins after they've popped open their first bottle and taken a few sips of beer. "What're your plans? Or do you still need some time to panic about it?"

Max groans and rests his forehead on the bartop in an overly dramatic fashion. "I think I'll need a whole year to panic about this before my heart is settled. And honestly, I didn't want to talk about the next steps. That's what I get for choosing to confide in a mature friend," he whines jokingly. Great rolls his eyes at that.

"Wow, sorry for trying to help you out, bro. You want me to call Foei instead?"

Max snorts, the sound muffled against the surface of the bar. He straightens up and winds his left arm around Great's right before resting his head on Great's shoulder, his hair tickling the older man's neck. " _Of course_ I was kidding. I love him but Foei is just too useless at heart-to-hearts."

Great pats Max's head with his left hand. "Seriously, though, sorry if I'm being too logical in advance. I'll shut up until you're done venting, just let me know when you need me to pitch in."

"Actually," Max mumbles while rubbing his thumb up and down across Great's arm, probably unconsciously. He shifts his head a little bit, presumably to make its perch on Great's shoulder a little more comfortable. "I do need your advice. What do you think is my best course of action here?"

_Ah, the moment I've been waiting for._

"Tell Tul," Great says with conviction. Probably with _too_ much conviction, actually, but all the better to get his point across. "Seriously, Max...anybody with eyes can see how much you both love each other. I understand the fear - I would probably be scared shitless too if I were in your place - but I'm telling you, your chances are high."

"And if I confess but he tells me that he doesn't see me that way? What then?"

Great wants nothing more than to bring his hand up to Max's cheek and rub his thumb soothingly across the younger man's cheekbones, in an effort to smooth his fears away, but he holds back. It would be too intimate and he isn't Tul. The Great that Max knows doesn't do soft shit like that. (Even if he wants to, deep down.)

"Don't you trust your friendship with Tul?" he asks softly. "Even if he doesn't love you that way, I'm sure he still loves you too much to bear being apart from you. I guarantee that he wouldn't distance himself or act awkward or anything like that. You wouldn't lose him, not at all. I promise."

"You really think so?" Max asks in a voice so fragile it breaks his heart.

"I _know_ so," he replies firmly.

Max goes quiet after that. Great lets him, gives him space to reflect and stew in his own thoughts.

Max unsticks himself from Great's side and untangles their arms so he can straighten up and get back to eating and drinking. After a few minutes of chewing their food and gulping their beers down somberly, Max pipes up again.

"Great...I know you asked me not to ask you follow-up questions about your reveal, but...I couldn't help but wonder," he starts cautiously. "Those people you were in love with…did you ever tell them?"

Great couldn't stop the snort that forced its way out of him. That causes Max's head to whip in his direction, a look of surprise and curiosity on his boyish (annoyingly handsome) face. He just couldn't help himself - the irony is hilarious to him. It's almost a shame that Max doesn't know.

He takes a deep breath to compose himself, fighting hard not to smile and to choke down the laughter that's threatening to bubble out. "Ah...sorry. Ignore me. Anyway, no, I didn't."

Max shoots him an unimpressed look. "Wow. You preach to me about taking the chance but you haven't even done it yourself. Why should I follow your advice now?"

Great laughs again and ruffles Max's hair affectionately. "Oh, Maxi. There's no comparison between your situation and mine. In your case, everybody believes that you guys have a chance. Even if you choose not to believe me, doesn't the fact that a lot of other people believe in it mean something to you?" He pulls his arm back and folds his hands neatly together on the bartop. "In my case...it was obvious that those people were smitten with someone else. Everybody could see it, and I wasn't even a blip on their radar." He laughs self-deprecatingly. "I mean, it's not surprising. I'm not the most exciting person. In fact, I'd be _shocked_ if I stood a chance."

Max turns to shoot him a glare. "What are you bringing yourself down for? Like I told you, I would've been all over you if I were a chick. Those people are dumb."

Great gives up stopping himself and laughs hysterically at that. He hunches over the bar and attempts to hide his face between his arms. He's sure he looks like a complete lunatic right now - he's giggling so hard he feels like his stomach would split. Max leans down to peek at his face and for some reason, he laughs even harder at the thought of Max's confused face.

"Great, what in the hell is going on with you?" Max grumbles, likely annoyed because he couldn't understand Great's reaction.

Great shakes his head and wipes his laughter-induced tears with the back of his hand. "Hey, you promised not to ask follow-up questions. I'm not answering anymore."

Great ignores Max's pout and hides his grin by grabbing his beer and taking several hearty gulps until he feels ready to keep his expression under control again. _I've probably gone crazy. It's not even_ that _funny._

He lets himself feel mirthful nevertheless. He deserves to be happy before he gives up completely. Right?

"Great, just tell me who they are already," Max whines while shaking his arm with both hands. "I'll never tell anyone else, I swear on my life. Pleeeeaaaase?"

"You'll regret knowing," Great deadpans, continuing to drink his beer while resolutely ignoring Max's antics.

"Why, are you shy because your taste is so bad that it'll make me facepalm hard enough to flatten my face? I swear I won't judge." Max leans his cheek against Great's shoulder while clinging to his right arm - Great would bet that Max was shooting puppy eyes up at him right now, but joke's on him because he's not gonna look.

"Some things you're just better off not knowing, Max."

"Greeeeeeeaaaaaattttt."

"You really don't want to know."

"Phiiii. Teeeell meeeee."

Max rubs his nose against Great's arm, probably in an attempt to be cute, and Great groans internally. _I TOLD him not to call me Phi anymore._ It's a weakness of his, honestly. Not helping at all.

Heavens have mercy on him.

Suddenly, a dangerous thought comes to mind. _What if...what if I tell him? This is my last hurrah before Max confesses to Tul and they get together, anyway. It's not going to matter in the long run, and who knows...verbalizing it might actually be the closure I've needed all these years._

Great's heart pounds like a thousand drums as he mulls it over. _Should I? Should I not? Should I…_

He turns to look down at Max. Max also turns his face up to look back at him, puppy eyes still in place. Their faces are terribly close - it's the closest their faces have ever been, actually - and it's probably the electricity that Great feels in that moment that causes the (previously dormant) reckless side of him to rear its head, pushing him to do something he promised himself he never would.

_Tell him. It's now or never._

So Great does.

"One of them is you, Max."

Watching the slow shift in Max's expression from playing cute to surprise to - is that _horror_? - is oddly fascinating. He feels Max freeze up and he predicts that the younger man will back off, slowly (in order to not offend him) but surely, as what Great just said sinks in.

He's right. He allows himself to lament the loss of warmth as Max carefully straightens up and removes his hands from their hold around his arm in favor of letting them lie in his lap. His jaw is slack, obviously from shock as he stares dumbfoundedly at Great.

"Great," Max begins hoarsely. He flinches and clears his throat. "Do you, um. Do you mean that? Or…"

Great shrugs as if his heart wasn't breaking inside his chest. (It's nothing new, after all - pretending like he wasn't heartbroken was child's play for him by now.) "Well, I _did_ warn you not to ask. Sometimes you just gotta listen to me, you know?"

Max shakes his head slowly. He still looks like he's in a daze. _Please don't ask who the other person is, please don't ask…_ "Great, I...wow. I'm….I don't know what to say."

Great chuckles self-deprecatingly. "I'm sorry, believe me, I love you...but not in that way, right? In the wise words of Khun Sam Smith."

Max's eyebrows pull together in a tight frown and he lays a hot palm on Great's thigh. He somehow feels how Max wishes to comfort him through that little touch, and it's enough for him.

"Great, I...I didn't know. I'm sorry I've been so insensitive," Max says in an apologetic, almost _begging_ tone. Great doesn't understand that nuance, because what would Max be begging for? Surely he knows that Great isn't angry and that he doesn't need to ask for forgiveness, right? "Should I stop talking to you about P'Tul? Shit."

Great shakes his head profusely and pats Max on the shoulder twice. "Maxi, calm down. It's not even _that_ serious. 'In love' might've been too strong of a word. Probably crush would be a better word for it? Seriously, it's not a big deal."

_Here's hoping that he doesn't catch how blatantly I'm lying through my teeth right now._

Max continues to stare at him with imploring eyes and squeezes his thigh again, as some sort of apology. Then suddenly, his face falls.

"Well, now I'm even more convinced that I shouldn't tell P'Tul," Max laments with a crestfallen expression. "I'm impressed with your courage. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if it backfires. I...I can't do it, Great."

Greats laughs bitterly at that. _I don't know if Max realizes, but that implies that he feels SO unsettled about what I said that he's terrified of causing the same emotion in Tul, if his feelings aren't reciprocated after all._ "Max, seriously. How many times should I - _we_ \- reassure you that everything will be fine? Just take the plunge already for god's sake. I'm more than ready for you both to be boyfriends already, it's been a long time coming."

Max squeezes his thigh again. "You sure you're okay?"

Great pats Max's hand comfortingly. "Positive. Relax, I already told you it's not a big deal."

A heavy silence blankets them both as they resume drinking their beer. Great's mind buzzes as he thinks about the consequences of his actions. _I'm sure Max will start acting awkwardly around me from now on. Well...if he keeps his distance from me, then all the better. I'd probably be able to move on that way, right?_

Great breaks the silence after a few minutes. "I'm serious. Tell Tul, trust in him. You'll be fine, I promise."

"I can't," Max says shakily. He notices Max's hand trembling too as he picks up his beer and takes several long pulls from the bottle. "I just…can't."

Great heaves out a long-suffering sigh. "Then our night out was for nothing. How do you feel about my precious time and effort being wasted? Literally the point of this meeting was to hype you up so you could finally lay your feelings on Tul." He sighs a second time. "I don't know what to do with you anymore at this point."

Max sighs as well. "Ugh, okay. I'll think about it, at least, but I'm really not feeling confident right now." He shoots a worried glance at Great. "Great...I'm sorry. If you don't want me confiding in you about P'Tul anymore then that's totally cool."

Great makes a noise of dissent at that. "I _told_ you, it's no big deal. It's been so long, it's over, it's a thing of the past now. Just vent if you need to. I'm here for you."

Max smiles sadly. "You're the absolute best, Great."

Thankfully they're able to redirect their conversation to lighter, safer topics, and they keep the easy chatter going until they finally finish eating and drinking. Great gets the bill and turns to Max when he's done paying.

"I guess it's time to call it a night. I can drive you to Tul's condo?"

Funnily enough, Max actually _flushes_ at that. "Knowing what I know, now, Great, wouldn't that be weird?"

Great snorts. "It only is if you make it. I insist."

In the end, Great _does_ manage to convince Max to accept a ride from him and that _no_ , this is _not_ Great delivering Max into the hands of his enemy, what the hell. "Why are you being overdramatic about this? This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. You're taking it too seriously."

"Do you think I'll be able to become like you, if P'Tul ends up rejecting me after all?" Max asks quietly when they've finally settled down in Great's car. Great raises an eyebrow questioningly.

"Become like me? What do you mean by that?"

"Be all...calm and _accepting_. I don't know how you do it. If I were you, I probably would've been devastated."

Great smiles. He's proud of himself for successfully hiding all of his internal turmoil from Max. "Eh. You get over it. It's not the end of the world."

"Will you treat me again if P'Tul ends up breaking my heart after all?"

Great chuckles fondly and ruffles Max's hair before starting the car. "That won't happen but if it does? Of course, Maxi. I got you."

The rest of the drive passes in silence. They arrive at Tul's condo not too long after. Great turns to Max to greet him good night, but he is caught off guard when Max surprises him with a tight hug as soon as the younger is done unbuckling his seatbelt.

Great's chest constricts and his eyes brim with tears in record time. He almost wants to hate Max for ruining his (supposedly) peaceful moment of surrender with a simple hug. He could've just walked out of the car without giving Great any further hope, so he can finally bury his feelings in peace, but he really went ahead and gave Great a memory that will probably burn itself into his mind for several years to come.

Slowly, Great returns the embrace. Max's fingers grip the back of his clothes tightly. Great blinks furiously in an attempt to hold the tears back.

"Everything will be fine, Maxi," Great tells Max in a reassuring, but slightly watery voice. "I beg you, please tell Tul. You'll be alright, I promise."

"Will _you_ be alright?" Max asks stubbornly, his voice muffled by the skin of Great's neck.

"Perfectly alright. Seriously, don't worry about me."

They stay like that for what feels like forever, though in reality it might not have even lasted for a minute. Max is the first to pull back. His junior rests his hands on his shoulders and he almost wants to cry again at the look of pity in Max's eyes.

"Good night, Great," the younger man says so softly it was practically a whisper. "Thank you again."

"Good night, Maxi," he replies in kind. "Goodbye."

Max frowns. "Why say goodbye? It's like you're going away or something."

Great smiles and shakes his head, even if he really meant to bid Max farewell. Things will not be the same between them, he's sure of it. "You're overthinking things again."

Max looks at him searchingly. Great stands his ground and stares back until the younger turns away and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Right then. I'm going. Drive home safely, alright?"

Great nods. Max exits the car and waves heartily before shutting the door. He watches his precious Nong enter the building and doesn't avert his eyes or drive away until Max is out of sight.

After entering his condo unit and shutting the door behind him, Great finally allows himself to cry. He lets the tears fall freely and doesn't stop the pitiful noises that escape as he sobs his heart out, his upper body hunching over and shaking with the force of it. He covers his mouth with both his hands and shuts his eyes tight, as if that would stem the outpouring of his tears.

He hopes hard that this is the last time he cries for Max. But for now, in the silence and comfort of his home, he lets himself _feel_.

_I will be free soon. Very, very soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't judge but I really enjoyed writing this update. 😌 No idea if anyone is still reading this but if you are...leave a kudos and/or comment your thoughts, please? 🥺


	3. And I Hate To Say I Want You (When You Make It So Clear, You Don't Want Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max throws a curveball that evening. Great is surprised as all hell.
> 
> He's gonna smack Tul the next time they meet.

**Friday night (around 9:30 PM)**

Great was scrolling through an HR laws update article on his tablet when his phone rings. He jolts at that - he doesn't typically get calls from anybody at night. He reaches over to his bedside table to check the caller ID.

His eyes widen and his chest fills with dread when he sees that it's Max. He hesitates for a split second before taking the call.

"Maxi?" he greets cautiously.

"Great," Max begins, followed quickly by a sniffle. His voice sounds like he recently cried and Great is immediately alarmed. _Oh no. What even happened?_

"Great, sorry this is so sudden but. Can I crash at your place tonight?"

Great's ears ring at that. _What, now? He's never asked to sleep over, EVER._ He's starting to get an inkling of what happened, but he waves it away. That couldn't possibly be the case, right?

"Um. You mean, you want to come here now? I guess that's alright. Where are you? Give me about 20 minutes to--"

"No," Max cuts him off emphatically. His eyebrows raise at that - the younger man has never spoken to him that way, _ever_. "I mean…no need to come pick me up. I'd hate to bother you when it's me who's asking for a favor this late. I'll just take a cab and call you when I arrive in the lobby." He hears Max inhale deeply on the other line, and it breaks his heart when he hears the shaky exhale. "Thank you so much, Great."

Great is silent for a beat. "...okay. Sure. Where are you coming from?"

Max sniffles again. "From my apartment. I'm gonna sort my things out first then I'll be there, likely within the hour." He pauses, and Great can almost hear him debating whether to continue or not. "And Great. Feel free to say no, but I was wondering if you would allow me to crash there for...ah...about a week? Again, if that's alright."

Great straightens up at that and his eyes almost bulge out of his head with surprise. There's too many strange things going on right now. First off...Max is suddenly at his own home on a Friday night when he was supposedly staying at Tul's. Secondly, he's obviously _crying_ , or _was_ crying, at least. 

Thirdly, Max is voluntarily asking to sleep over at his place. At _his_ place. For a _week_. For all the years they've known each other, Max has never slept over at anybody else's place except Tul's, or his then-girlfriend's. Great doesn't know whether to feel honored or on guard.

Max seems to take his silence as a no. "Shit. You know what? This was incredibly dumb of me. I shouldn't have bothered you with this in the first place. You can ignore me, Great, good-"

"That's okay," Great rushes to say before Max could finish. "That's okay, Maxi. I'll come pick you up in the lobby, call me when you're close by so I can go down ahead of time."

Max makes an odd sound that Great doesn't quite know how to interpret. "Oh my god. Thank you, Great. I'm sorry again for the trouble. Be there soon."

As soon as they hang up, Great wastes no time digging up and unrolling his old futon, dusting and cleaning it up as best as he could, and bringing out his best spare pillows, blanket, and bedsheet. Thankfully he just recently changed his beddings so his spares still smell a little like fabric conditioner. Nobody has slept over at his place in such a long time so he's honestly underprepared. 

He rearranges his closet to free up a bit of space for Max's clothes; clears his bathroom sink to make way for some of Max's toiletries; and checks his fridge for snacks and drinks that he could offer to Max when he arrives. He continues to flit around his unit, eyes scanning everything to see what else he can do to prepare for Max's arrival. He even tidies up a little bit, even if his space is already immaculately clean. 

About half an hour later, his phone rings in his hand as he paces in his living room, too unsettled to return to lounging in his bed after he hung up with Max. He answers the call and doesn't even bother checking the caller ID before bringing it up to his ear.

"Hey Great, I'm here in the lobby," Max says by way of greeting, his voice uncharacteristically shy. Great tuts.

"I told you to call me when you're nearby so I could go down ahead of time. Wait for me, okay?"

"I didn't want you to be the one waiting for me," Max explains sheepishly. "Waiting in the lobby for a bit wouldn't kill me anyway, it's no big deal. See ya."

Great huffs but the corner of his lips turn up in a smile, all the same. "Fair enough. See you."

He berates himself for feeling excited while breaking into a mini-jog to the elevators. _Seriously, Great. Don't be so eager. You were going to keep your distance, right? The only reason you're indulging Max is because he seems to need a friend and some comfort right now._ He shakes his head at how soft he is for the younger man. _When he leaves your condo next week, it's back to lying low and not talking to him unless he talks to you._

He's pretty surprised by this turn of events, actually. He hadn't heard from Max since their eventful night out last Tuesday, which was exactly what he expected. He'd been ready to not see this particular Nong for...well, a while? He can imagine how awkward it would be to interact with a friend whom you just found out has feelings for you, when you don't feel the same.

That Max is the one approaching him tonight is definitely a curveball.

After arriving at the lobby, his chest immediately constricts when he sees how... _destroyed_ Max looks. He jogs over to his junior and lays a hand on his shoulder gingerly. "Whoa, Maxi...you okay? Gimme your bag, I'll carry it for you."

Max shakes his head stubbornly and moves his duffel bag away from Great. "No, I'm already imposing here...don't worry about it. Thanks again, Great."

He tries to catch Max's eye but the younger is resolutely keeping his eyes averted. He sighs and squeezes Max's shoulder before turning and leading the way towards the elevators. "You're welcome. Let's go."

They're quiet the whole ride up to Great's floor. He steals a glance at Max's face and feels a pinch in his heart again when he sees Max's bloodshot eyes and downturned lips. _Is this related to Tul? It must be. Oh shit, don't tell me…_

Great gulps down the feeling of dread that bubbled up at that. He can't assume until it's been confirmed. If Max opens up about what happened today, great, but if not then he'll just have to take care of his Nong until he feels better.

They soon arrive at and enter his unit. He shows Max where to place his shoes and points out the pair of fluffy spare slippers that he prepared. Max snorts a little at them _and_ Great's personal slippers which are also covered with faux fur. "My god, I can't believe that you own _fluffy_ slippers. I don't know why I find the thought of you wearing these so funny."

He offers Max snacks and refreshments, which are politely declined. "Thanks, Great. I'm full, but I appreciate the offer."

When they get to the bedroom, he leads Max to the futon that he prepared and presents him with a couple spare towels. "In case you want to shower before going to bed. There should be room in my closet and in the bathroom for your stuff, feel free to arrange them however you like."

Max throws him a relieved, grateful look. "Hey, I really appreciate it. I know it was really short notice so thanks for accommodating me."

Great follows Max like a shadow as the younger settles in, filling the recently emptied spaces of Great's room with his belongings. He tries not to think about how domestic this is. For a second he attempts to channel Tul - Tul is probably used to having Max roaming his space comfortably like this and it's likely not a big deal for him anymore. He imagines himself as Tul in an effort to decrease his anxiety over whether Max would appreciate his hosting skills or not.

Soon enough, Max disappears into the bathroom to shower and Great quietly sighs in relief. He walks over to his bed and sits down with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him, attempting to relax by taking his tablet from the bedside table and trying to read the HR laws article again.

Suffice to say that he doesn't manage to absorb much. He's too wound up by Max's presence. He spends the next 10 or 15 minutes rereading the same two lines over and over until Max exits the shower.

Turning towards the bathroom door was a mistake and for the first time in his life, he regrets his bathroom having an entryway into his bedroom. Max's bare (sculpted like a Greek god) torso was fully on display, the towel hanging precariously low on his hips and rivulets of water flowing across the planes of his stomach and down into...Great stops his train of thought right there.

He turns away so quickly that he gets hit by a little wave of vertigo. _So...why did I allow him to sleep over again?_

He forces himself to focus solely on the article, and thankfully he's able to move past the two lines he'd been repeating over and over. But does he _actually_ understand what he's reading? Debatable, but eh. Anything is better than looking at Max's insanely attractive body on display. _Ugh, this is torture. What did I do to deserve this?_

A few minutes later, Max thankfully finishes dressing in his own night clothes. After placing his used clothes in the spare hamper that Great prepared for him (Great thanks his old self for buying one even when he didn't know what he would use it for) and hanging his towel on Great's towel rack, he pads over to the futon laid out beside Great's bed. The sheets rustle as he settles down. 

Once the rustling sounds have subsided, Great shoots him a glance. Max is lying straight on his back, the blanket up to his chest and his hands resting on his stomach as he stares up at the ceiling. Great chews his lower lip as he contemplates whether he should ask what on earth brought Max here in the first place.

After a few minutes of internal debate, Great decides that he might as well. He supposes he has a bit of a right to ask.

"You up to talk about what happened, Maxi?"

A pained look flits across Max's face and Great almost regrets asking. "Well... _no,_ but I _do_ owe you an explanation." His junior takes in a deep breath and exhales shakily before speaking. 

"So I thought about your advice, as promised," Max begins. "I figured...since you had so much confidence in P'Tul's positive response, I decided to just go for it. I spent the rest of the week preparing my spiel and my heart for tonight." He chuckles bitterly. "I know you meant well and it's not your fault it didn't turn out as expected, but...Great, I told P'Tul and he was just shocked." He closes his eyes and a look of hurt flits across his face again. "He said he needed time to think about it because he never expected this from me. Guess I'll have to start being like you, huh? You're gonna have to teach me your ways."

Great straightens up and turns his whole upper body towards Max at that, ears ringing with disbelief. _Tul, what the hell?_ "Wait. You're going to need to start from the beginning for me here. What _exactly_ did you say?"

Max sighs, eyes still closed. "Okay, so. I've been avoiding P'Tul as much as I could all week, right. But yesterday and today, I started going back to normal a little bit because I felt so encouraged by your words. I started thinking about what I would say AND when I would say it. I opted for tonight, at home." He sighs again. "Basically, I told P'Tul over dinner that I was being weird because I was realizing my feelings for him, and that I've been feeling this way for a while now but only just noticed. He was _so_ shocked he actually stopped eating and just turned to look at me like a deer caught in headlights." He chuckles sadly again and turns to look at Great. "Tell me, Great. Did I look like that last Tuesday night?"

Despite himself, Great also finds himself chuckling. "Well...I couldn't say for sure because I didn't see Tul's face, but probably. You looked so shook I almost laughed out loud."

They share another laugh at that. Max's face turns somber again after their laughter dies down.

"I guess my expectations were just too high? I was expecting him to gush and admit that he'd been thinking the same all these years too but instead, he just continued to stare at me like I'd grown a second head or something. My flustered, _dumb_ ass kept talking and asked him if he would be interested in dating me, to see where things could go." Max shakes his head and averts his eyes again. "He just kept staring at me. It wasn't until about a minute later that he told me he needed time to think about it. It was unexpected, he said. Well...not _completely_ unexpected because he said he had a hunch that that was my reason for being distant, but still. He said he didn't expect to be right. And he looked _so_ dumbfounded, it hurt." Max brings his hands up and covers his face with both palms. 

"It's my fault for expecting him to confess back or something. I knew it was going to be like this...if he really saw me as more than a brother then we wouldn't have been stuck like this for so long, right? He would've done something about it. We would've gotten somewhere a long time ago. Ugh, I was so _dumb_."

Max's voice breaks at that last part and Great fears that he might be crying. He moves carefully away from the headboard to perch at the edge of his bed and leans forward towards Max, resting his forearms on his thighs. "Oh, Maxi...it's partly my fault too for egging you on. I was so sure it would go smoothly, I didn't expect him to say that." He sighs in frustration and scratches the back of his neck a little more aggressively than necessary. "Seriously, that Tul... I'm gonna need to give him a dressing down."

Max removes his hands from his face and looks at him with a panicked expression. Great's heart breaks when he sees how Max's eyes seem to be shimmering with unshed tears. "I beg you, Great. _Don't_ breathe a word of this to P'Tul. He doesn't even know that I'm here...all he knows is that I went home to give him space."

Great tuts but nods all the same. "Okay, I respect that. So...did you rush home right after? How did your conversation end?"

Max turns away and nods again, his fingers gripping the blanket tightly. "Of course I laughed it away first. I told him that if that was too much for him, then he could just forget what I said and carry on like normal." He pauses and blinks furiously, as if blinking back tears. "Then he looked at me with eyes full of pity. _Pity_ , Great. That hurt so much more than if he had just remained expressionless the whole time. I couldn't handle it. I apologized and told him that I'll be returning home for the night to give him space, in case he's uncomfortable with me being around. So I wolfed down my dinner and packed up and took a cab back home in record time. He didn't even stop me." A tear slips through and he rubs furiously at it. Great wants nothing more in that moment than to reach down and wipe Max's tears away, but again, that's not something that he's allowed to do. 

Well...not like anybody's _forbidding_ him from doing so, but still. Being soft like that is not a thing between him and Max. It would be weird as all hell so he just doesn't. 

"Oh, Maxi," Great begins sadly. His voice catches - he _feels_ so much for Max that he wouldn't be surprised if he cries later on too. "I get that it hurts. But that doesn't sound like a rejection to me. I can understand why he's shocked...he probably just really needs time to process. He'll come around, you'll see."

Max laughs bitterly. "Great, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be listening to your reassurances anymore. I appreciate your optimism, I really do, but I guess you overestimated P'Tul's feelings for me." He rubs both eyes with the back of his hands and sniffles. "I see it clearly now. He loves me, that's true, but he really just thinks of me as a brother. He doesn't think of me as anything beyond that. Telling me he needs time to think about it is just a soft way of saying no."

"Maxi, listen to me," Great interjects in a voice so rough he surprises himself. Even Max turns to him with an alarmed expression at that. "That is _not_ true. If I didn't understand where you're coming from I would be disappointed in your lack of faith in Tul's feelings, though I suppose I get why you're thinking all this. _Still_...the fact that he asked for time to think about it?" He leans forward. "Tell me, Max. If _I_ asked you to date me, what would you say? Would you _even_ take the time to think about it?"

He holds Max's gaze and sees the conflict in it. He stares the younger down for about half a minute, but eventually he takes pity when he sees how torn Max is. _He's probably thinking of the best way to answer me without offending me, and without lying outright._ He chuckles and shakes his head. Max sighs subtly in relief after he breaks their eye contact. 

"I hope you know that you didn't have to answer that," he says amusedly, leaning back a bit to ease the pressure that he was exuding on purpose earlier. " _Anyway_ , the point I was trying to make was...you probably wouldn't, right? You'd just tell me: 'Great, I really don't feel that way about you, I'm sorry. We can't date. I hope we'll still be okay.'" He shrugs to look casual about it. "But Tul _asked you for time to think about it._ Don't you see? If he really didn't want to, he would've just said what I said. Don't you think so?"

A few beats pass in silence as Max processes that. "Well...I mean...I suppose you have a point." Then he huffs. "But _again_ , you're too optimistic. I have to take everything you say with a grain of salt now."

Great throws his head back and laughs heartily at that. "Ugh. I suppose you're free to believe whatever you want to believe." He stands up and walks over to the switch to turn the lights off, plunging the room into darkness, but only partially with the lights of the still-awake city outside still filtering in through the blinds somehow. He then goes back to his bed and lies down on his left side so he's still turned towards Max. "Anyway, try to get some sleep for now. It's Saturday tomorrow anyways so we'll have time to process. If it helps, all your meals for this weekend will be on me."

Max makes a cooing sound at that. "Oh my god. Really, Great? I don't know why I never slept over at your place before." He could imagine Max making puppy eyes right now, and he laughs at that. "If I had known that you were such an excellent and gallant host, I would've come here more often."

"Well, you only ever had eyes for Tul and your previous girlfriends so I'm not surprised."

"That was my mistake," he laments. "They all hurt me, I don't need them. I'm so thankful you're here."

Great doesn't know what to say to that. He's unsure whether to feel happy or to feel offended at being the back-up plan, so he stays silent and doesn't react. Max also seems to realize how he sounded because he curses under his breath.

"Great, ugh... I'm sorry if that sounded wrong. That was incredibly insensitive of me. I literally just meant that I appreciate you being here for me...I hope you know that."

Great chuckles softly. "You know, it's okay. It's a fact that I'm the back-up option here but hey, I'm not taking it against you."

Max stays quiet. Great wonders if that hit a nerve, but if it did he honestly doesn't understand why.

A few minutes later, his precious Nong breaks the silence.

"Great...if I ask something selfish of you, will you indulge me?"

Great's eyebrows knit together at that. "Well...I can't promise unless I hear what it is, Maxi. Fire away and let's see if it's something I can do."

Max seems to hesitate for a split-second before responding. "So...I don't know if I ever told you but P'Tul and I actually... _cuddle_. Not all the time and certainly not when we have girlfriends, but…it's a common thing for us. I find that I sleep better like that than if I sleep away from him." Great's stomach lurches with anticipation - he feels like he knows where this is going. "I know this is probably a faux pas considering what I know now, but...Great, will you let me sleep with you?"

Great reels with shock for a few seconds before bursting with choked laughter. "You mean you want to cuddle with me, is that it? You're not propositioning me or anything, right?"

Max splutters. "Great, no, what the fuck--"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he manages to wheeze out as he continues to laugh at Max. "Ahhhh, Maxi, you crack me up. You didn't have to phrase it like that, you could've just _said_ that you wanted to cuddle. Come here then."

"You're seriously the best, Great," Max murmurs in relief before scrambling to get up. He brings his pillows and blanket with him, and Great smiles fondly at how that makes him look like a scared little boy asking to sleep with his parents during a thunderstorm or something. 

Great's breath catches as Max slides into bed with him, slowly and carefully as he feels his way around in the dark. He shifts as much as he could to the edge of the right side of the bed to make way for Max. He repositions his pillow as Max lays his own pillows down on the space that he allotted and rearranges the blanket to cover both of them. Great lies down on his back - a little stiffly because he doesn't know what to do or expect next - and stares nervously up at the ceiling with his hands folded primly over his stomach while waiting for Max to settle down and make the next move.

He jolts with surprise when Max leans over him. "Would you mind extending your left arm so I can lay my head on it?" Max whispers. _Unfair_ , Great thinks miserably as he extends his left arm anyway. _I almost want to hate you, Max. You couldn't just leave me in peace? You really went ahead and turned to me for comfort after being semi-spurned?_

As soon as he's laid his left arm out, Max lies his head on his shoulder and rests his left hand on Great's abdomen. It's a little too close to where Great's hand is resting, so he removes his hand from his stomach and lies it down in the bed instead. 

Max sighs in contentment and (likely absentmindedly) runs his thumb up and down Great's abdomen, slowly and almost sensually. But Great thinks that's more because he's used to doing it like that with Tul and his girlfriends, and not because of him particularly. Great's heart simultaneously sings and aches at the thought of how well Max fits into his side, and how nice this all feels. _Tul gets Max like this all the time? And who knows what else they get up to in private. Tul, what I would give to smack you right now for having this but not claiming it at the first chance._

_Or, better yet...what I would give to be_ you _, Tul._

He wonders if it's appropriate to rest his left hand on Max's shoulder but _hell_ , he thinks. _Why not?_ They're already here. He might as well.

And so he brings his left hand up and rests it lightly on Max's well-muscled shoulder. He rubs his thumb up and down across the deltoid and hears Max sigh contentedly. His heart jumps at the thought of being the cause of that sound, but he immediately shuts his mind down when it starts thinking about how he wants to elicit _other_ sounds from Max as well.

_Let's not go there, please._

"Maxi, aren't you scared that I might mistake this for you seducing me or something?" Great quips a few minutes later. He's been feeling Max relax more and more as the seconds tick by, and he's sure it wouldn't be long before the younger man's asleep, but _he's_ nowhere near relaxed. He just had to say it.

Max stiffens at that. "...well…please don't mistake this for that, then?"

Great chuckles even as he feels the pang in his chest. _Of course you shouldn't, Great. This is all bro behavior which you shouldn't misinterpret._ "I'm kidding, Maxi. Sorry. Go back to sleep now."

Max snorts. "I mean, I get that this is inappropriate given... you know. But I needed snuggles. I had to ask." He pauses. "If you're uncomfortable I could just go back to the futon, though? I'll survive, I just--"

"Nah, you're fine," Great interrupts before Max could move away. "Go to sleep."

Max grunts in response to that before adjusting a little. "If you say so. Good night, Great. Thanks again."

He gives Max's shoulder a fond squeeze before shutting his eyes tight, hoping for sleep to find him soon. "Anytime, Maxi. Good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hasn't even been a week but my inspired ass has already updated here three times AND totaled 10k+ words 🤩🤩🤩 A sad Muse is really a force to be reckoned with, huh.
> 
> If you're still reading, I love you and I hope you enjoy!!

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all have nooooo idea how excited I was to start this. I wasn't going to touch it until Kind Of... was finished but, you know what? I wasn't in a very MaxTul mood because of recent events. Figured I'd cope by just kickstarting this baby LMAO.
> 
> Fair warning: This'll likely be another slow burn as well. Buckle up and get ready for pain LMAO.
> 
> Kudos and/or comments are highly appreciated!!! 💖💖💖 I'm also @jaoiebellz on the bird app if u wanna scream about MaxTul with me fjdnskdkdidi.


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